funny how there's no distinction between reporting locally on your instance and reporting remotely - there are cases where the local rules may be more liberal than the remote ones

@Hyolobrika some back away like i barked at them, even though i was just stating things plainly in a calm voice, while others confront that and hold me very accountable.

@Hyolobrika it's so interesting how people react when i tell them things now, because they're all very sensitive about what i tell them

@Hyolobrika i always just followed them because it was expected, but it wasn't sincere

@Hyolobrika you form emotional attachments to these rules if you're rewarded for following them when you're very young

i'm still trying to understand why i was refused service at a bar today. that never happened to me before. a person who makes his living selling beer to people refused to serve me. i was perfectly sober. i was wearing nice clothes.

i suspect he took issue with my language, because i simply stated that i wanted a beer.

you're not supposed to do that. you're supposed to ask if you may have a beer. i'm usually in the habit of doing that, but at that moment, it didn't seem right to me. and i guess he decided, well, then it doesn't seem right to me to serve you beer.

i've noticed that people seem to have higher expectations of me now than before. i think it's because my emotional intelligence is showing, so they expect me to play by the rules.

but i have no attachment to them, seeing as i was never rewarded for following them before.

tomorrow, i think i will wear my hat. it seems right to do so at the moment.

today is 17 May. it's the national holiday of Norway, in which the country itself is celebrated.

i didn't pay much attention to the calendar or the clock. i keep forgetting which day it is and which hour it is. those things never felt very real to me.

i had no plans in going out except maybe get a hot dog and a sundae, because that's what you do on that day.

it was hard to find hot dogs and sundaes. i found plenty of people trying to sell sugar though, but i was determined to find a hot dog.

eventually, i came across a place that sold spring rolls, which are basically Asian hot dogs. it didn't say that though. it said it was collecting donations for freedom and democracy in Myanmar. that sounded good to me and i wanted spring rolls so i bought three.

it was just me and a few people there. there were long lines of people outside all the normal shops, but hardly anyone was buying from the immigrant street vendors. you're not supposed to eat "foreign" food on that day, after all.

i was doing my usual thing of concentrating on my surroundings and interacting with them without much fear, in other words.

and that's how i came across a romani who wanted to sell me a book. and then we talked. and we began to walk. and things began happening. closed doors became open. open doors became closed. some of my privileges were denied me because i was seen with the wrong people, but others were offered to me because i was seen with the right people.

it also became apparent to me that certain businesses are friendlier to the romani than others. you would be unable to detect this without spending many hours with romani. and normal people don't do that.

but the romani called me normal. and they said i was very kind.

did i go home with less money in my pocket? definitely. could this be taken as naive? yes. but i was fully aware of what i was doing. and the experience was enjoyable.

they asked me to come back tomorrow. i told them i will have no money then. they said this was okay. they also said that if i am ever hungry, they will help me with food.

here's a lesson in romani logic:

"they don't want to talk to us. they don't want to give us food or shelter. they ignore us. they mistreat us. they always did. why should we treat them with any respect? they're not decent people."

"all they care about is money. they won't do anything for us unless they get money for it. they're not decent people, and they're stupid, so they deserve that we take their money."

here's a lesson in upper class logic:

"they don't want to talk to us. they don't want to give us food or shelter. they ignore us. they mistreat us. they always did. why should we treat them with any respect? they're not decent people."

"all they care about is money. they won't do anything for us unless they get money for it. they're not decent people, and they're stupid, so they deserve that we take their money."

here's a lesson in working class logic:

"they don't want to talk to us. they don't want to give us food or shelter. they ignore us. they mistreat us. they always did. why should we treat them with any respect? they're not decent people."

"all they care about is money. they won't do anything for us unless they get money for it. they're not decent people, and they're stupid, so they deserve that we take their money."

these people think like the Sámi once did, before the Sámi became civil.

it's funny how it works. i have nomads on my mother's side of the family, and i go to the big city far away, and now i am talking to nomads again.

just read the book i bought. it's fairytales. they read like Norwegian fairytales except these are the ones the gypsies tell to their kids. but fairytales are so similar around the world there's even a code system for categorising them.

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berserker.town

A berserker's gateway to the Mastodon social network. Run by a Norwegian, with servers in Finland.